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(ADHD) I'm trying to get along with my mother

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If you have read my articles before, you know my relationship with my mother is not the most pleasant. We get along and remain polite, but we often disagree, which will be difficult to change. We might disagree because we have a similar condition. However, I think the real reason why we disagree is that we have nothing in common. My father always says our differences could also bring us closer together. That's why we decided to improve our relationship. My father is very involved with this initiative because he wants us to learn to communicate better. He thinks this will help our relationship. It's not that we don't talk to each other, but our discussions are essentially about academic matters when we do talk. We disagree about different points, and we will have to work through those disagreements together. When we disagree, we will make sure that we both listen to one another. We will then sit down to see the best way to have some dialogue together. We wondered if it should be only between her and me or if the meeting should include my father to prevent it from degenerating. First, we decided to dedicate thirty minutes every evening to exchange cordially. We will take turns expressing what we feel. When we do not understand the explanation, we must have the patience to explain again. Listening is essential if we want to keep an open communication but listening is often non-existent when my mother and I try to talk. When she speaks to me, I will try to listen to what she has to say. I will ask her questions if what she is saying is not clear.




I will also stop interrupting her all the time. Instead of jumping to conclusions, as we usually do, I will ask her to clarify her point if I don't understand it. For example, if she asks me how my day was, I could tell her: "not so good because I had a challenging math exam and I didn't know the answers, plus my friend was sick." Showing empathy will help us move past the misunderstandings of the past. Another way to bring us closer together is to find an activity to do together. However, when choosing this activity, we will have to consider our character traits: impatience, impulsivity, and inattention. It must be something simple and must allow us to collaborate. We've realized that a great activity would be cooking together and trying new recipes, but this will be for a future article.

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2022年10月17日

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